I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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