your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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