what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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