Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
