i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
