Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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