In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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