I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
