yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
