Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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