JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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