You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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