was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
