Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
