Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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