and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
