Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
