try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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