after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
