He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just high enough for therapy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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