I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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