he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
