Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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