someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
there is glitter all over my balls
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