I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
