last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
