dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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