Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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