How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
