Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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