Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
