forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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