So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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