Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
