So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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