yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
