I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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