Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
