You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
