Someone shit on the floor
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
