please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
