marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
