I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
