i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
