yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
