your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
