What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
