these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
