I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize