Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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