How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
