I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
