At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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