Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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