he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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