Im at strip club and am horny
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
