On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
