I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
