Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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