can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
