There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
