so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
