I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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