A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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