definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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