Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
