I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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