u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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