let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
